Seriously needing a schedule

I have sat down and started a new blog entry a few times already and never posted them because they were either unfinished or way too negative. I have been in a funk lately where weight loss is concerned. I feel a little "off" but just can't put my finger on it. I worked incredibly hard to eat healthy and to exercise multiple times during the past couple weeks and got absolutely no results. It is frustrating. I have already thrown the idea of being at 275 by Valentine's Day out the window because there is no way I will lose that in 11 days unless I caught off an arm. Since I need both of my arms I have decided to regroup. In the back of my mind I keep hearing the little voice of my doctor saying it's time to do the thyroid labs again. Another voice tells it to shut up and quit looking for excuses. I've never taken medication for any thyroid issue but the last time I got it checked they said it was a points under where it should be for normal. It's hard to believe something so small can be such a major pain in the butt.

I am overwhelmed which is easy to do when you are trying to balance work, home, and self when you have never achieved balancing it before. Being the Libra that I am you would think I would have it figured out by now but I don't. That is why I am so overweight. I will always put the family and job ahead of my weight loss goals. Everyone else is my priority. I hate that after 38 years that I still allow that to happen. I definitely need to break this funk and get into a routine and just stick to it.

I like working out in the evenings when no one bothers me. I like to do it alone. It takes me a long time to get into the zone where I am actually burning calories and not just forcing myself to exercise. Any distractions from that and it's over for me. My treadmill is in the basement where my son's room also is. If he is there or has friends over I can't get into the workout mode either. On the brighter side of things I did just get a Wii. (It's upstairs) I got the Wii Fit with it and have played with that the past couple of nights. I have been trying different things and find it very enjoyable. It will take some getting used to before I can count it as an actual work out. Of course I did order the Jillian Michael's game for it so hopefully that will give me more motivation too. I may get the Biggest Loser one too but we will see how these other ones go first. So far I am proud to say that I am gaining some coordination. I am enjoying the stepping part of the game.

My support system isn't what I wish it was but sometimes I am not even sure what I want it to be. I guess sometimes I want to be noticed for my many efforts made and not so much on a single bad choice I made. I don't want to be reminded of the many times that I failed before. Change happens so gradual that I can't go from overweight couch potato to fitness diva in just a few days. Watching people in my circle working hard towards their health and fitness helps me. Sitting on the sidelines cheering me on isn't as effective. Words are nothing more than BS unless they are acted on. I know that 95% of my support has to come from me. This is my goal, my burden, my race to win. I buy the groceries for the house and prepare the majority of everything eaten. I hate to cook after working all day but I don't have a choice. If I don't cook we will all eat crap.

So I have done a lot of "woe is me" in this entry. I may have to delete this one too. I know what I need to do is plan. As much as I hate logging food eaten and exercise done, I think it is necessary to move toward my goal. I am going to set my workout schedule and stick to it as much as humanly possible. I have to plan the meals for the week and use the many tools that are out there for meal planning/grocery shopping/food logging.